Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
