When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize