bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
