Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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