i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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