So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
