When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My vagina just clenched in fear
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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