my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
