i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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