I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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