I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
