yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
