Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize