OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
