their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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