Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
