Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
