just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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