I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
