i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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