i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?