I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.