yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.