I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless