why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update