Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not