i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
