smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize