I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
