Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize