Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize