And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
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He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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