think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
