i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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