we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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