You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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