Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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