If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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