I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You ruined the universe
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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