Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
