my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we're so committed to being not committed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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