The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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