we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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