Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
