I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
