The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
