She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he just fucked me for my cheese..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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