so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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