moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
