That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize