everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize