I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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