This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
