that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i now understand why vodka
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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