well most of my day revolves around power hour
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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