pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
