Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just took my morning after pill in the library
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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