I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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