I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
