he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize