just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
