whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
