when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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