we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
