I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
