You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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